the usage of the word "ambivalence" has been relaxed over time, as is often the case in language. people sometimes use it to mean general uncertainty or indecisiveness (or when they should be using the word "ambiguous" instead), but it's really more specific than that. it's the state of having simultaneous, conflicting feelings (attractiveness and aversiveness) toward an object, person, or action. as unpleasant as this is to experience, it's a part of life and we all have to deal with it from time to time.
even more unpleasant and potentially more damaging is when one holds two contradictory ideas simultaneously. this is known as "cognitive dissonance". these contradictory ideas include one's beliefs, values, attitudes, or awareness of one's behavior, referred to henceforth as "cognitions". dissonance occurs when a person perceives a logical inconsistency between two of his/her cognitions. this can lead to negative emotional states such as anxiety, stress, guilt, shame, anger, fear, embarrassment, etc...
we, as humans, have a natural desire to reduce the level of dissonance in our cognition, ultimately trying to achieve "cognitive consonance"; the state of having all of one's cognitions in accordance with one another. consonance can be achieved in the face of dissonance by changing, justifying, or rationalizing one of the dissonant cognitions (or possibly by adding a new cognition).
for example, let's say that a man has a cognition, a belief, that he is a good person, and then engages in behavior which he considers to be that of a bad person, such as breaking the speed limit. the cognitive dissonance sets in as soon as he recognizes the inconsistency between the belief and the behavior. he could then try to resolve the dissonance by justifying the behavior: "i was only speeding because i was running late for an important meeting." or he could rationalize the behavior: "why not speed? everyone else does it." yet another way he might try to reconcile the dissonance is to change one of the cognitions. he can't go back in time to change the behavior, but he can change the belief that he is indeed a good person. this might be the least common route to cognitive consonance, but yet it is a possibility.
while the above example is valid, it's probably on the lighter side of dissonances that people experience. things can get quite heavy when issues arise of faith, friendship, parents, sex, monogamy, loyalty, money, etc... in extreme cases these can often lead to denial and other ego defence mechanisms that can push a person into sociopathic and maladaptive behaviors.
i've slowly been discovering that many of the problems i face in my life are due to cognitive dissonance. and not only the dissonance itself, but the methods i've chosen to resolve the dissonance. i think that i've too often chosen to alter my cognitions of self-perception so that i hold a negative self-image. and then other cognitions kick in so that i won't let myself be happy, and go so far as to punish myself for not being a good person. this allows me to fall into patterns of self-destruction, which lead me to "bottom out" so-to-speak. so the question i'm asking myself now is: "what is the healthiest way to achieve consonance while doing the least amount of damage to myself and those around me?"
even more unpleasant and potentially more damaging is when one holds two contradictory ideas simultaneously. this is known as "cognitive dissonance". these contradictory ideas include one's beliefs, values, attitudes, or awareness of one's behavior, referred to henceforth as "cognitions". dissonance occurs when a person perceives a logical inconsistency between two of his/her cognitions. this can lead to negative emotional states such as anxiety, stress, guilt, shame, anger, fear, embarrassment, etc...
we, as humans, have a natural desire to reduce the level of dissonance in our cognition, ultimately trying to achieve "cognitive consonance"; the state of having all of one's cognitions in accordance with one another. consonance can be achieved in the face of dissonance by changing, justifying, or rationalizing one of the dissonant cognitions (or possibly by adding a new cognition).
for example, let's say that a man has a cognition, a belief, that he is a good person, and then engages in behavior which he considers to be that of a bad person, such as breaking the speed limit. the cognitive dissonance sets in as soon as he recognizes the inconsistency between the belief and the behavior. he could then try to resolve the dissonance by justifying the behavior: "i was only speeding because i was running late for an important meeting." or he could rationalize the behavior: "why not speed? everyone else does it." yet another way he might try to reconcile the dissonance is to change one of the cognitions. he can't go back in time to change the behavior, but he can change the belief that he is indeed a good person. this might be the least common route to cognitive consonance, but yet it is a possibility.
while the above example is valid, it's probably on the lighter side of dissonances that people experience. things can get quite heavy when issues arise of faith, friendship, parents, sex, monogamy, loyalty, money, etc... in extreme cases these can often lead to denial and other ego defence mechanisms that can push a person into sociopathic and maladaptive behaviors.
i've slowly been discovering that many of the problems i face in my life are due to cognitive dissonance. and not only the dissonance itself, but the methods i've chosen to resolve the dissonance. i think that i've too often chosen to alter my cognitions of self-perception so that i hold a negative self-image. and then other cognitions kick in so that i won't let myself be happy, and go so far as to punish myself for not being a good person. this allows me to fall into patterns of self-destruction, which lead me to "bottom out" so-to-speak. so the question i'm asking myself now is: "what is the healthiest way to achieve consonance while doing the least amount of damage to myself and those around me?"
I don't know that resolving self-perception issues solves all cognitive dissonance. But, since that's how you've specifically turned the discussion, I would say that what we (you) look to to define ourselves determines the level of cognitive dissonance pertaining to self. I have a few resources on this if you're interested...
ReplyDelete